advice: ex boyfriend with new girlfriend

December 4, 2012 | 5 comments so far - join the discussion!

He and I broke up 7 months ago and we’d been dating for around 2.5 years. Whilst I know that we weren’t right for each other, am now a lot happier away from him and know that I’ve grown so much since the breakup, it’s still a punch in the guts to see facebook photos of him with a new girl. (I’ve deleted him from FB, but photos still appear because all our mutual friends.)

There’s nothing to hate about the new girl either – she seems sincere and long-term relationship material.

I just feel so pathetic right now. I’m a girl who’s got a stellar bunch of girlfiends, a dream job lined up next year and dare I say it, I’m quite happy with my looks. How can a boy from the past make me feel so rotten and teary right now?

 

Ex’s…

I think this is a common issue for us girls… actually, for anyone!

 

Although you have “moved on”, when you had a close relationship with your ex, when you’ve found out they have a new partner.. you are bound to feel strange at the beginning!! It’s not because you still want to be with them, but it’s because.. you are so used to seeing him with you.

 

What I can say is… if you strongly feel that you were better off apart from him and that you’ve grown so much from the past relationship,  the best way to overcome this “frustration”  is to “get used to it”. I often get told this alot – “You need to be comfortable with having him in the same room!”

 

Now, if you’re much like me – stubborn and rebellious, you’d most likely refuse to accept this idea. But the sad truth is, if you can’t be comfortable with having him in the same room, you are only making yourself unhappy. You’re allowing him to affect you!

 

Much like learning to walk, learning to draw, learning to play a computer game, learning to put on false eyelashes, you always start somewhere. At first, you will be frustrated because you have no control over your feelings, but once you’re there for some time, you will eventually learn from this experience and become a stronger person.

 

Such a cliche, but it’s a famous quote for a reason – “what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger”

 

I’m really happy to hear that you feel you have a great bunch of girlfriends, your dream job lined up, and strong self-confidence!! Please do not let this bring you down!!

 

Once last quote because personally, I think quotes have really helped me get through a lot in life..

“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Everything happens for a reason”

 

If you are not already seeing someone, I promise you will find someone who you will develop a much stronger chemistry with, have a much stronger bond with, and be much happier with. It will be worth it. And when it comes, you will be thinking back to this moment… and you will say to yourself “it was worth the wait”.

 

For now, have fun with your girlfriends!! Whinge to your girlfriends if you must, but do not let it affect you for that much longer. Get used to it, shrug it off, and move on :)

 

 

 

Remember, you can email me on janice@chaigyaru.com if you’d like me to write a post for you!

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  1. Jenny says:

    Hi Janice. I’m an avid follower of your blog. Over the last year I’ve been using this app called blogkeen to follow u on my iphone. However recently I noticed that the app was not showing any of your new blog posts. To pinpoint I’d say this problem started happening since u changed your blog layout. I thought this may be the app’s fault so I’ve recently downloaded the nuffnang app to follow u on. However, even on the nuffnang app the latest post it shows from u is the Nuffnang talent bloggers program pt 2 blog post. To note, this is also the last blog post that was updated on the blogkeen app. Just thought I’d let u know. I’m not sure if anybody else has this problem besides me.. It’d be nice to get pop up notifications of your blog updates on my iphone again. But for now ill use safari to follow u :)

  2. L says:

    Great Post.

    I experienced something sort of similar, except the guy I was seeing had a clingy ex who would constantly call text message facebook and request to see him on a bi-daily basis (note; she was seeing the guy whom she cheated on him with). She was selfish to the point where she was with her current dude, but still wanted to be a part of her ex’s life and wouldn’t let him go. It eventually drove me loco. I guess some dickheads just have no self control, esteem, worth or regards for others. She should read this post.

  3. C says:

    Hi Janice,

    Great post! I wish this was posted 5 years ago after I broke up with my ex. I was feeling the same way you were, but I’m so glad I finally got over him.

    Anyway, I love the ‘oui’ ring. Can you tell me who you purchased it from on Etsy? Thanks.

    Keep your head up, girl! =)