December 4, 2012 | 5 comments so far - join the discussion!
He and I broke up 7 months ago and we’d been dating for around 2.5 years. Whilst I know that we weren’t right for each other, am now a lot happier away from him and know that I’ve grown so much since the breakup, it’s still a punch in the guts to see facebook photos of him with a new girl. (I’ve deleted him from FB, but photos still appear because all our mutual friends.)
There’s nothing to hate about the new girl either – she seems sincere and long-term relationship material.
I just feel so pathetic right now. I’m a girl who’s got a stellar bunch of girlfiends, a dream job lined up next year and dare I say it, I’m quite happy with my looks. How can a boy from the past make me feel so rotten and teary right now?
I think this is a common issue for us girls… actually, for anyone!
Although you have “moved on”, when you had a close relationship with your ex, when you’ve found out they have a new partner.. you are bound to feel strange at the beginning!! It’s not because you still want to be with them, but it’s because.. you are so used to seeing him with you.
What I can say is… if you strongly feel that you were better off apart from him and that you’ve grown so much from the past relationship, the best way to overcome this “frustration” is to “get used to it”. I often get told this alot – “You need to be comfortable with having him in the same room!”
Now, if you’re much like me – stubborn and rebellious, you’d most likely refuse to accept this idea. But the sad truth is, if you can’t be comfortable with having him in the same room, you are only making yourself unhappy. You’re allowing him to affect you!
Much like learning to walk, learning to draw, learning to play a computer game, learning to put on false eyelashes, you always start somewhere. At first, you will be frustrated because you have no control over your feelings, but once you’re there for some time, you will eventually learn from this experience and become a stronger person.
Such a cliche, but it’s a famous quote for a reason – “what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger”
I’m really happy to hear that you feel you have a great bunch of girlfriends, your dream job lined up, and strong self-confidence!! Please do not let this bring you down!!
Once last quote because personally, I think quotes have really helped me get through a lot in life..
“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Everything happens for a reason”
If you are not already seeing someone, I promise you will find someone who you will develop a much stronger chemistry with, have a much stronger bond with, and be much happier with. It will be worth it. And when it comes, you will be thinking back to this moment… and you will say to yourself “it was worth the wait”.
For now, have fun with your girlfriends!! Whinge to your girlfriends if you must, but do not let it affect you for that much longer. Get used to it, shrug it off, and move on :)
Remember, you can email me on firstname.lastname@example.org if you’d like me to write a post for you!